you are not pathetic.
pathetic is the last word i'd use to describe you.
you're beautiful.
smart.
you know me better than i know myself sometimes.
hilarious.
sincere.
honest.
loving.
confused.
sappy.
but definitely not pathetic.
you're just following your heart because it's the only thing you can trust anymore.
but now you don't know if you can trust even your heart.
you're afraid it'll just stab you in the back like it has in the past.
who are we to trust what the heart says?
why would we listen if it's the cruelest friend we have?
something so beautiful and painful it's eating us alive...
and all we do is sit and watch.
it's like that horrible, bloody car wreck that took your best friend's life.
you can't look away.
i've screwed with your life in more ways than anyone should.
but i can't help thinking God gave me your friendship for a reason.
we both grew up bowling in the beansprout and getting in trouble for rollerblading around moody!
who else does that but two friends connected at the heart when they were born?
i met you two years ago.
we were fast friends.
was it too fast?
we've crashed and burned so many times...
there are things i've said to you i wish with all of me i could take back.
i mess with you.
i know what i'm doing.
and i can't leave it alone.
i like to pretend i control things.
i like to pretend i can somehow make everything better if i just push hard enough.
it's so fun to pretend.
but pretending has taken lives.
precious lives.
lives that no one can get back.
someday everything will work.
God, it has to.
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