the meghann show

it's everywhere.

screaming out...

trying to be noticed.

"pay attention! 

you're making this so much harder than it has to be.

you're so corrupted! 

what happened to naivety?

the human race was so innocent it wasn't ashamed of nakedness at one point...

each sunrise and sunset was precious to you.

you woke up early just to hear the birds sing.

you didn't go to bed until you basked in the ambiance of creation...

clean creation.

nature smells sweeter than your ten thousand dollar bottle of perfume.

you used to love each other.

you weren't born with hatred on your heart.

you have to be carefully taught to hate.

i didn't teach you. certainly not.

you're so dirty.

you're covered in filth that the world doused you in.

why are you afraid to not be of the world?

what's wrong with nonconformists?

who told you that you were wrong?

you were quite the opposite...

it breaks my heart to see how much you've changed.

you were my baby...

i watched you grow.

nurtured you.

poured all of my love, passion, and energy into you.

cared for you.

i watched your wings grow.

then i let you go.

i saw you as you spread those wings for the first time.

and i saw them shoot you down into a bloody, disgusting, awful mess.

i cried and screamed.

i didn't know what to do.

i could hardly bear it.

i watched them capture you.

they took your wings away.

made you one of them.

so here i am...

watching monsters raise my daughter.

i'll get you back one day.

child, you will be beautiful again."

stupid sixteen-year-old.

what were you thinking?

why couldn't you see that he's a drug?

an addiction you'll never be able to face down?

he tastes so sweet...and yet he's killing you 

slowly...

painfully...

he was never forever.

i knew i was on my own the whole time.

i despise my behavior.

i've admitted defeat, but i'll never surrender.

giving in is the easy way out.

but i'm just a stupid teenager...

how do i know if it's real or not?

the feeling of certainty...of pain...

of confusion...

is it reality?

or do i need to change my mindset from truth to lies?

hope is all i cling to. but...

hope...what's the point?

except to be entertained by the spectacle of every single hope i dared to dream shimmering into oblivion, never to be seen again?

i can't bring myself to abandon them.

hope. is. not. death.

it can't be.

what else keeps us from apathy?

what else keeps me hanging on to something i know is too good to be true?

i feel it when you smile at me.

i'd conquer the world for you...even though i'm scared to death of what could happen...

perhaps scared to death of the unknown...

if it meant i got to feel you next to me.

i can see right through you when i look into your eyes, and yet i can see nothing.

you're transparant...

and a brick wall that only she can penetrate.

...whoever she is.

i can't stop myself from desperately wanting with all of me to be her.

i can't stop myself from dreaming with a broken heart.

...stupid, selfish sixteen-year-old.

i can't bring myself to not feel invincible when you're standing next to me.

i've got the world on a string when your eyes meet mine...

when i'm in your atmosphere.

hoping is like staring death in the face.

you never know when it will take you...

torture you...

or turn you loose.

what happens when hope gets the best of you?

you die.

or live.

you hope that hope will be kind...

but you're prepared for it to take your life.

it's so easy to surrender...

but i swear i'll keep fighting.

love is real.

it has to exist.

and i will get it.

someday.

he has a way with the piano...

the keys are connected to my heartstrings.

each key hammers the string.

sometimes gently.

sometimes with great force.

i think that's where my hurting heart comes from.

his fingers fly across ebony and ivory playing the song that only he knows...

the song that he'll only let her hear.

and i ache...

i ache so bad to be her.

roll of thunder.

a spark.

the sky cries.

something's been torn...

worn down.

it won't heal.

waves crash against sand.

the storm swells.

it's dangerous to be here.

but something...

someone...?

has me under their spell.

inky water sprays my face.

someone is with me...

so close i can feel them breathing...

so far away they're silhouetted.

it's dangerous to be here.

the deep impressions made by my feet are washed away behind me.

he's calling me.

he's waiting.

i hear his voice.

seductive.

sweet.

"follow me."

electricity flies through the sky...

almost as if it know that he, a beautiful mystery unfurling infront of me, just took my hand.

i close my eyes.

the tempo of my heart is rushing.

tears come harder.

time stops as he turns to reveal himself to me.

thunder crashes.

my stomach flies to my throat.

...i can't find him.

my trance is broken, my heart along with it.

pain runs all through me.

i knew it.

i knew it was dangerous to be here.